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I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane. No, scratch that. In the diary of me!

19:37

Ever since the summer I've been seriously obsessed with ripped tights (actually I'm just saying that because I can't afford normal ones!) that I just can't get enough of them! They are too easy to rip and even easier to wear and combine. Anything you decided to wear with them would look a bit badass. YEAH BUDDY!

I've never, but honesty never-never been a fan of diaries (I wrote a diary when I was 8-10 but just because it sounded cool back than), writing down on a paper what you want to do before you die, what you have to do at one particular day and similar stuff. No lists for me! So it's even stranger now that I decided to start writing a diary! Me. Diary. Can you even imagine me sitting deep in my thoughts writing down my feelings, thought, observations, adventures...? It's almost hilarious! Usually if I don't really like something, if I'm hurt, sad or something like that I just like to push those feelings somewhere back in my mind and hope they stay there. So writing about what and how I feel is hard for me. But a few days ago I was thinking about my life. You know those moments when you just sit down and start to think how old are you, what have you already done with your life, what you want to do. And then at one point I just realized how I'm usually just saying what I want to do and how I'm gonna do it but I never do anything.  I don't know if that's because I know in the back of my mind that I really can do that If I truly want or because I'm just so fucking lazy from times to times that I can barely get my ass away from my computer and go to do things I have to do. But the sad thing here is that life doesn't sit and wait for me. It goes on. And with him every minute, hour, day, month, year of my life. So anyway I just decided to start writing my thought every night before bed and maybe through the day if I feel low, extra happy, hyper...and to put everything on a paper. That way  I can always have a sneak peek into my mind. Ha, that's gonna be interesting!

It's quite ironic this whole concept of life, isn't it? If you look from one side the life looks like eternity. Like you seriously have the eternity to make something from your self. And you take time to grow up and being childish as long as you can. But then you look from the other side and it look like everything passing by so quickly. Like it was just yesterday when I was siting in the school benches, when teacher was yelling at me even though it wasn't my fault and then high school. Everything went by in a blink of a eye. So here's my new motto: " Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." Amen sistah!




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