Crooked Young


SNOW, yu no fun, maaan! I'm going to beat the shit out of you if you don't stop fucking snowing! Seems like four seasons are only on pizza. Let me give you just five reasons why I lately hate snow (well, it's ok in December and if I go snowboarding). 

1. It's dangerous! Stop laughing, really is! Snow is dangerous if you’re walking, running, jogging, standing, driving, flying, whatever. Basically,  if you’re alive and there happens to be snow where you are, you're screwed.

2.It's freezing! Ok, I know what most of you thinking right now - dress a bit warmer! Am I right? Of course I'm right. I'd be freezing anyway, so my outfit isn't really the issue right here...believe it or not. And since I'm walking around dressed like this every winter for the last two years I don't really feel any colder than If I'd wear something warmer. Well, I don’t go out in the snow unless I really have to, anyway.

3. Snowball fights and shit. No, I'm not Grinch or something. I also enjoy snow sometimes, but I have to be on the right place and dressed in the right clothes. So if you're thinking about to pick up two handfuls of fucking ice, mould them together into one huge piece of ice, look me in my face and then throw it at me...forget it. Not going to happen, because if, I will slap you! Don't get me wrong. I don't mind if someone throws one snowy ball at me in joke, but making me all wet in inappropriate outfit - I do mind! 

4.Impossible to do something outdoors! Let's go out and see what's happening. Or let's go out, grab a coffee and sit somewhere and talk. Or no, wait...let's do something fun outside. Well, darling, forget about that! It's mission impossible! Why? Because of the snow! No outdoors activities.

5. Everything's wet and icy! I hate this part right here. I can never find the perfect shoes for this kind of weather, so I always somehow end up having a wet shoes. It's also happening that snow finds me looking attractive, so when I pass by some roof, it starts to melt. Unfortunately, it likes to fall from the roof on me and usually knocks me down. Lucky girl, what can I say? And if it doesn't surprisingly fall on me, I fall by myself on icy ice.

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