Posh Underground

"Black is not sad. Bright colors are what depresses me. They’re so… empty. Black is poetic. How do you imagine a poet? In a bright yellow jacket? Probably not."

First of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry for not keeping you as up to date as I would have liked to. Since I've been gone from blogging for a while again I've been thinking about what should I write this time, but it's been so long since the last time and so many things have happened in that time that I don't even know where to start. Shit.

Pheeeew, what a long day!
It's 20:40pm and I'm finally back home, under my blanket with the laptop in my lap! Since I had to quit drinking coffee...which was...no scratch that...still is one of the hardest thing I had to do (I'm seriously addicted to coffee), my eyes just can't stop closing! I could easily have a bubble bath now and go straight  to bed and sleep until morning. But I can't. There's just too many things that still need to be done until tomorrow. Manca is coming early in the morning to do my make-up and then we have another busy day full of photo-shootings and business meetings with my team. 

It's so funny how every time I'm out of time and have so much shit to do I always remember so many awesome things I could possibly do. Right now I just somehow think of at least three good movies I'd love to watch. Hmm. I should write them down and watch tomorrow! Ha, seems like my brain is still working...

Is there anything better than spending your Sunday night home - blogging, watching movies, eating a lot, reading, going through an old Vogue and Elle magazines while it's freaking raining as fuck outside? I'm not really a huge fan of storms, especially thunderstorms if I'm alone...without my thunder/cuddle buddy, but I'm a pretty huge lover of rain. I just find joy and peace of mind during rainy days and I somehow always come up with my best life plans while laying in bed and watching my favourite movies on rainy days. Right now...I'm here in front of my computer with hot chocolate by my side and the sound of thunder outside. Such a calm and terrifying feeling at the same time...

I should post this article about a week ago and I just couldn't find a time again. Besides time is not really on my side lately, I also had some serious issues with my health, so I'm trying to work as much as I could without pressure. Almost mission impossible...

But, this post is not about me...it's about this gorgeous lady - my make up artist, Manca Smrekar. Since she's in my team now and also we already started to work I though it would be nice if you could have a chance to meet her too. For me it is always such a pleasure working with her. Not only because we laugh a lot, which is sometimes an issue, because we have some troubles finishing the work...but also because she just knows how to work on my freaking face! You may think now: "Duh, she knows. She's a make-up artist". But it's really not that simple. I've been working with a few different artists and they are all nothing but great, but she's the one, because she does not care only about the make up but also about how that make up fits my face or what it does to my eyes...

I'm seriously getting pretty lame with my "I'm sorry, I've been busy" excuses. It's almost two weeks since fashion week and I'm here like I'm bringing the news of the day. Well...I am kind of, but two weeks later.
A few days before fashion week started my uncle which I loved so much died and I barely found strength to go there. And after the fashion week I tried to work as much as I could in this situation I'm going through, but at the same time I also tried to take some time for myself, distance and process what actually happened.

Ok,  maybe not really, but this dress definitely made me feel like I'm one.

 I almost never shop at H&M, because it's really hard to find something for my kind of style. And because I'm too addicted to Topshop and online shopping (all the clothes that hang behind me are from Topshop...what a coincidence, ha?), but not long ago I somehow ended up buying this gorgeous dress at H&M. And damn I love it! Since I still don't have my photo-camera (now I'm waiting for it to come back from service in Germany) I unfortunately had to take a few pictures with my phone. 

But it's not all about the dress, here. Look at this make up, guys! I'm so happy that I had a chance to meet my new make up artist Manca Smrekar and start collaborating with her for my blog. We still have to have a meeting to set everything up but from now on we're (well, more she is) going to do some crazy edgy but mostly wearable make-ups for you, so stay tuned!

I really, really like pretty / beautiful things. It doesn't matter if it's just a nice plate of nice looking food, freshly plucked flowers, lovely home decoration, inked skin, beautiful secret garden, catching sunset with the people you love, meditation on a lonely place next to the sea or just a pretty bath.

Talking about baths - lately I'm experimenting a little bit with it. No, I'm not talking about the regular bubble baths but something a bit better and definitely more pretty. I've been doing some research on the internet about home made baths when I discovered a completely new level of it. Did you know that you can even add some quartz crystal or other crystals, as long as they are safe to bathe with and will not dissolve in water? Yes, I'm one of those weird people who like to believe in metaphysical properties of a stone to heal emotions and shit. I own a few crystals (also one of my obsessions) but never tried to bathe with them. Yet. But I tried a few different baths until this post. Which one? Take a peek, try and let me know what do you think about it. 

I'll post once a week a different bath, but I'm starting with my favourite so far and the most pretty too. 

This photo-camera service is just taking way too long! I know. Patience...

But it's hard to have a patience when a freaking photo-camera put your life on a standby. Photo-camera! I mean...is it even normal not to know what to do with your life just because you end up without photo-camera? You know how in The Wolf Of Wall Street Donnie asks Jordan; "How's being sober?" and he replies "It fucking sucks"?...well, that could be my situation, but with photo-camera. I'm not so sure if I should laugh to myself, you know...like: "oh, you silly!" or seriously think about it! But all this photo-shootings, events, collaborations and just catching special and inspiring moments is really what I do the best and what makes me truly happy. I just love being creative and being able to share it with all of you awesome people.

Here I am, again. Sitting almost in the dark in front of my computer in one of my oversized T-shits, messy bun and of course...coffee by my side (it's 9pm and I'm drinking coffee...what's wrong with me?). It's been a while since I've done this, right? It's funny because I pushed aside one of the things I like to do the most and one of the things that make me happy. Fact that my Nikon went on the service also doesn't help much, because I can't shoot anything without that little bastard. But well, I guess it's better to use my shitty phone than nothing.

I'll be honest with you, guys. I've been a mess lately and I'm exhausted from everything that happened to be in the last few months. I've been like a lost puppy, walking around in hope to find someone to save me. But I figure that we're the only one who can save ourselves. I came to a point in my life where I'm even tired of partying and hanging with people. I just want to stay inside...drink tea, watch movies, write, draw, listen to music, skype with people from time to time, read, meditate and do yoga, and mostly be alone. Or with the people who truly care about me. At first I thought something is wrong with me for wanting to distance myself from all those things I knew before...but it's not. Sometimes you just need to be alone, that's okay. It doesn't mean anything's wrong with you, or even that anything's wrong in your life. Sometimes you need to create the space to soul search, recover, think, rest and just BE.

So I guess I'm back! And great things are coming, I promise. But more about that tomorrow, stay tuned, lovelies.